Love’s Labours Lost, Act 3, Scene 1, 169-200
Arden 3 | H.R. Woufhuysen | London: Bloomsbury, 1998 | 171-173
“And I, forsooth, in love. I, that have been love’s whip…”
Speech
Arden 3
BEROWNE
And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love’s whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh, 170
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o’er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This Signor Junior, giant dwarf, Dan Cupid, 175
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general 180
Of trotting paritors – O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field
And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop!
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife?
A woman that is like a German clock, 185
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And among three to love the worst of all, 190
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, 195
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan.
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan. 200
[ Exit.]
Words and Pronunciation +
Arden 3
Words
Forsooth: In truth, certainly, truly, indeed (Crystal)
Beadle: Punisher, chastiser, castigator (Crystal)
Humorous: Capricious, moody, temperamental (Crystal)
Constable: The chief officer of the household, court, administration, or military forces
of a ruler (O. E. D.)
Pedant: Teacher, schoolmaster (Crystal)
Wimpled: Enveloped in or wearing a wimple; hence, veiled, occasionally
blindfolded (O. E. D.)
Purblind: Blind (Crystal)
Wayward: Disposed to go against the wishes or advice of others or what is proper or
reasonable; intractable; self-willed; perverse; (of a child) disobedient,
refractory (O. E. D.)
Signor: A title prefixed to the surname or (less commonly) the first or full name of
a man from Italy, now equivalent to the English Mr. (O. E. D)
Dan: (Don) [Don, short form of Latin ‘dominus’] master, sir (Crystal)
Cupid: Roman god of love, son of Venus and Mercury; a winged, blindfolded boy
with curved bow and arrows (Crystal)
Regent: Ruler, governor, sovereign (Crystal)
Liege: Lord, sovereign (Crystal)
Malcontents: (Malcontent) A state of discontentment; a cause of discontent (O. E. D.)
Dread: Revered, deeply honoured, held in awe (Crystal)
Plackets: (placket) Opening in the front of a skirt or petticoat (Crystal); an opening
or slit in the garment which enables the wearer to put it on or which gives
access to a pocket; spec. an opening in a women’s skirt or underskirt esp.
as offering a man the opportunity for sexual activity; (hence, in extended
use) the vagina (O. E. D)
Codpieces: A cloth case or pocket worn by a man at the front of [his] breeches or
hose; also; what it contains (Crystal)
Imperator: Emperor, absolute ruler, sovereign (Crystal)
Paritors: (paritor) summoning officer for an ecclesiastical court (Crystal)
Tumbler: Acrobat (Crystal)
Sue: Pay court; act as a suitor (Crystal)
Still: Constantly, always, continually (Crystal)
Frame: Order, definite form, regular shape (Crystal)
Perjured: Of a thing: to be characterized by perjury; false, deceitful (O. E. D)
Whitely: Pale-complexioned, light-skinned (Crystal)
Wanton: Willful creature, obstinate individual (Crystal); of a person’s will, etc.:
undisciplined, ungoverned; unmanageable, rebellious. Of a child (esp. in
later use): disobedient, unruly; naughty (O. E. D)
Brow: Forehead [often plural, referring to the two prominences of the forehead]
(Crystal)
Pitch-balls: Ball black as pitch (Crystal)
Argus: Hundred-eyed guard of Io, a heifer; Hermes killed him to rescue Io, and
Hera then transferred his many eyes to the peacock’s tail (Crystal)
Eunuch: A castrated person of the male sex (O. E. D.)
Watch: Stay awake, keep vigil (Crystal)
Joan: A generic name for a female rustic (O. E. D)
Pronunciation +
pedant: (line 172) pe-dint OR pe-dunt
purblind: (line 174) per-blind
wanton: (line 191) want-en or want-in
imperator: (line 180) im-per-ah-tor
Translation
No Fear Shakespeare
BEROWNE
And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love’s whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh, 170
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o’er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This Signor Junior, giant dwarf, Dan Cupid, 175
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general 180
Of trotting paritors – O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field
And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop!
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife?
A woman that is like a German clock, 185
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And among three to love the worst of all, 190
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, 195
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan.
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan. 200
[ Exit.]
Assonance
Arden 3 | 2012
BEROWNE
And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love’s whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh, 170
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o’er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This Signor Junior, giant dwarf, Dan Cupid, 175
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general 180
Of trotting paritors – O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field
And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop!
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife?
A woman that is like a German clock, 185
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And among three to love the worst of all, 190
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, 195
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan.
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan. 200
[ Exit.]
Alliteration
Arden 3
BEROWNE
And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love’s whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh, 170
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o’er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This Signor Junior, giant dwarf, Dan Cupid, 175
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general 180
Of trotting paritors – O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field
And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop!
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife?
A woman that is like a German clock, 185
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And among three to love the worst of all, 190
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, 195
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan.
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan. 200
[ Exit.]
Consonance
Arden 3
BEROWNE
And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love’s whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh, 170
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o’er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This Signor Junior, giant dwarf, Dan Cupid, 175
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general 180
Of trotting paritors – O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field
And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop!
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife?
A woman that is like a German clock, 185
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And among three to love the worst of all, 190
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, 195
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan.
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan. 200
[ Exit.]
Thoughts
Arden 3 | 2012
BEROWNE
1. And I, forsooth, in love! 2. I, that have been love’s whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh, 170
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o’er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
3. This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This Signor Junior, giant dwarf, Dan Cupid, 175
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general 180
Of trotting paritors – 4. O my little heart!
5. And I to be a corporal of his field
And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop!
6. What? 7. I love, I sue, I seek a wife?
8. A woman that is like a German clock, 185
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
9. Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
b. And among three to love the worst of all, 190
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
c. Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
10. And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, 195
To pray for her! 11. Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
12. Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan.
13. Some men must love my lady, and some Joan. 200
[ Exit.]
THOUGHTS
Long: 3
Medium: 3
Short: 7
Complex: 1 | 3
End stopped: 9
Midline: 4
Period: 4
Exclamation: 6
Question: 2
Dash: 1
Total: 13
Rhythm
Arden 3 | 2012
BEROWNE
And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love’s whip, 12
A very beadle to a humorous sigh, 10R 170
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable, 10R
A domineering pedant o’er the boy, 10R
Than whom no mortal so magnificent! 10R
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy, 10R
This Signor Junior, giant dwarf, Dan Cupid, 11W 175
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms, 10R
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans, 10R
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents, 10
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces, 10
Sole imperator and great general 10 180
Of trotting paritors – O my little heart! 11
And I to be a corporal of his field 10|10R
And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop! 10R
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife? 9
A woman that is like a German clock, 10R 185
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame 10
And never going aright, being a watch, 10|11
But being watched that it may still go right! 10R
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all; 10
And among three to love the worst of all, 10 190
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow, 10R
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes; 10
Ay, and by heaven, one that | will do the deed 10|11ec
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard. 10R
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, 10R 195
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague 10R
That Cupid will impose for my neglect 10R
Of his almighty dreadful little might. 10R
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan. 10
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan. 10R 200
[ Exit.]
Pacing
Arden 3 | 2012
BEROWNE
And I, <c> forsooth, in love! <c> I, <c> that have been love’s whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh, 170
A critic, <c> nay, <c> a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o’er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent! PAUSE?
This wimpled, <c> whining, <c> purblind, <c> wayward boy,
This Signor Junior, <c> giant dwarf, <c> Dan Cupid, 175
Regent of love-rhymes, <c> lord of folded arms,
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, <c> king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general 180
Of trotting paritors – <c> O my little heart! PAUSE?
And I <c> to be a corporal of his field
And wear his colours <c> like a tumbler’s hoop! PAUSE?
What? <c> I <c> love, <c> I sue, <c> I <c> seek a wife? PAUSE?
A woman that is like a German clock, 185
Still a-repairing, <c> ever out of frame
And never going aright, <c> being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right! PAUSE?
Nay, <c> to be perjured, <c> which is worst of all; pause?
And among three to love the worst of all, 190
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes; pause?
Ay, <c> and by heaven, one that <Ec> will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard. PAUSE?
And I <c> to sigh for her, <c> to watch for her, 195
To pray for her! <c> Go to, <c> it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might. PAUSE?
Well, <c> I will love, <c> write, <c> sigh, <c> pray, <c> sue <c> and groan. PAUSE?
Some men must love my lady, <c> and some Joan. PAUSE? 200
[ Exit.]
Beats
Arden 3 | 2012
BEROWNE
And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love’s whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh, 170
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o’er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This Signor Junior, giant dwarf, Dan Cupid, 175
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general 180
Of trotting paritors – O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field
And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop!
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife?
A woman that is like a German clock, 185
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And among three to love the worst of all, 190
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, 195
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan.
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan. 200
[ Exit.]
Pronunciation +
shamest: (line 23) Q2–3; sham’st Q4, F; not in Q1 (Weis)
Jesu: (line 29) jeez-yoo or jee-zoo; jayz-yoo or jay-zoo
you: (line 29) The more formal pronoun is used consistently by Nurse when addressing Juliet, while the 13-year-old uses the familiar thou, thee, thy to her servant, in conformity with the etiquette of the day in which social class overrides age. (Weis)
marry: (line 62) mah-ree (UK); meh-ree (US) (OED)
trow: (line 62) tr-ah-oo (UK); tr-oh (US) (OED)
hie: (line 68) hah-ee
wanton: (line 70) want-en or want-in
Scene
Arden 3 | 2012
3[.1]
Enter [ Armado, the] Braggart, and [ Moth,] his Boy.
ARMADO
Warble, child, make passionate my sense of
hearing.
MOTH
[ Sings.] Concolinel.
ARMADO
Sweet air! Go, tenderness of years, take this key,
5give enlargement to the swain, bring him festinately
hither. I must employ him in a letter to my love.
MOTH
Master, will you win your love with a French
brawl?
ARMADO
How meanest thou? Brawling in French?
MOTH
10No, my complete master; but to jig off a tune at
the tongue’s end, canary to it with your feet, humour it
with turning up your eyelids, sigh a note and sing a
note, sometime through the throat as if you swallowed
love with singing love, sometime through the nose as if
15you snuffed up love by smelling love, with your hat
penthouse-like o’er the shop of your eyes, with your
arms crossed on your thin-belly doublet like a rabbit on162
a spit, or your hands in your pocket like a man after the
old painting; and keep not too long in one tune, but a
20snip and away. These are compliments, these are
humours, these betray nice wenches that would be
betrayed without these; and make them men of note –
do you note me? – that most are affected to these.
ARMADO
How hast thou purchased this experience?
MOTH
25By my penny of observation.
ARMADO
But O – But O –
MOTH
‘The hobby-horse is forgot.’
ARMADO
Call’st thou my love ‘hobby-horse’?
MOTH
No, master. The hobby-horse is but a colt, and
30your love perhaps a hackney. But have you forgot your
love?
ARMADO
Almost I had.
MOTH
Negligent student! Learn her by heart.
163
ARMADO
By heart and in heart, boy.
MOTH
35And out of heart, master. All those three I will
prove.
ARMADO
What wilt thou prove?
MOTH
A man, if I live; and this ‘by’, ‘in’ and ‘without’
upon the instant. ‘By’ heart you love her, because your
40heart cannot come by her; ‘in’ heart you love her, because
your heart is in love with her; and ‘out’ of heart you love
her, being out of heart that you cannot enjoy her.
ARMADO
I am all these three.
MOTH
And three times as much more, and yet nothing at
45all.
ARMADO
Fetch hither the swain. He must carry me a
letter.
MOTH
A message well sympathized: a horse to be
ambassador for an ass.
ARMADO
50Ha, ha, what sayest thou?
MOTH
Marry, sir, you must send the ass upon the horse,
for he is very slow-gaited. But I go.
ARMADO
The way is but short. Away!
MOTH
As swift as lead, sir.
164
ARMADO
55The meaning, pretty ingenious?
Is not lead a metal heavy, dull and slow?
MOTH
Minime , honest master; or rather, master, no.
ARMADO
I say lead is slow.
MOTH
You are too swift, sir, to say so.
Is that lead slow which is fired from a gun?
ARMADO
60Sweet smoke of rhetoric!
He reputes me a cannon; and the bullet, that’s he.
I shoot thee at the swain.
MOTH
Thump then, and I flee. ([ Exit ].)
ARMADO
A most acute juvenal, voluble and free of grace!
By thy favour, sweet welkin, I must sigh in thy face.
65Most rude melancholy, valour gives thee place.
My herald is returned.
Enter [ Moth, the] Page, and [ Costard, the] Clown.
MOTH
A wonder, master! Here’s a costard broken in a shin.
165
ARMADO
Some enigma, some riddle. Come, thy I’envoy – begin.
COSTARD
No egma, no riddle, no I’envoy, no salve in the
70mail, sir! O, sir, plantain, a plain plantain! No I’envoy,
no I’envoy, no salve, sir, but a plantain!
ARMADO
By virtue, thou enforcest laughter; thy silly
thought, my spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes
me to ridiculous smiling. O, pardon me, my stars! Doth
75the inconsiderate take salve for I’envoy, and the word
‘I’envoy’ for a salve?
166
MOTH
Do the wise think them other? Is not l’envoy a
salve?
ARMADO
No, page; it is an epilogue or discourse to make plain
80Some obscure precedence that hath tofore been sain.
I will example it:
The fox, the ape and the humble-bee
Were still at odds, being but three.
There’s the moral. Now the l’envoy.
MOTH
85I will add the l’envoy. Say the moral again.
ARMADO
The fox, the ape and the humble-bee,
Were still at odds, being but three.
MOTH
Until the goose came out of door,
And stayed the odds by adding four.
90Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow with
my l’envoy.
The fox, the ape and the humble-bee
Were still at odds, being but three.
167
ARMADO
Until the goose came out of door,
95 Staying the odds by adding four.
MOTH
A good l’envoy, ending in the goose. Would you
desire more?
COSTARD
The boy hath sold him a bargain, agoose, that’s flat.
Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose be fat.
100To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and loose.
Let me see: a fat l’envoy – ay, that’s a fat goose.
ARMADO
Come hither, come hither. How did this argument begin?
MOTH
By saying that a costard was broken in a shin.
Then called you for the l’envoy.
COSTARD
105True, and I for a plantain: thus came your
argument in. Then the boy’s fat l’envoy, the goose that
you bought; and he ended the market.
ARMADO
But tell me, how was there a costard broken in a
shin?
MOTH
110I will tell you sensibly.
168
COSTARD
Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth. I will speak
that l’envoy.
I, Costard, running out, that was safely within,
Fell over the threshold , and broke my shin.
ARMADO
115We will talk no more of this matter.
COSTARD
Till there be more matter in the shin.
ARMADO
Sirrah Costard, I will enfranchise thee.
COSTARD
O, marry me to one Frances! I smell some
l’envoy, some goose in this.
ARMADO
120By my sweet soul, I mean setting thee at liberty,
enfreedoming thy person. Thou wert immured ,
restrained, captivated, bound.
COSTARD
True, true, and now you will be my purgation,
and let me loose.
ARMADO
125I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance,
and in lieu thereof impose on thee nothing but this:
[ giving Costard a letter ]bear this significant to the
country maid Jaquenetta. There is remuneration169
[ giving Costard a coin ], for the best ward of mine
130honour is rewarding my dependants. Moth, follow. [ Exit.]
MOTH
Like the sequel, I. Signor Costard, adieu. (Exit.)
COSTARD
My sweet ounce of man’s flesh, my incony jew!
Now will I look to his remuneration. ‘Remuneration’!
O, that’s the Latin word for three farthings. Three
135farthings – remuneration. ‘What’s the price of this
inkle?’ ‘One penny.’ ‘No, I’ll give you a remuneration.’
Why, it carries it! ‘Remuneration’! Why, it is a fairer
name than French crown. I will never buy and sell out
of this word.
Enter Berowne.
BEROWNE
140My good knave Costard, exceedingly well met.
170
COSTARD
Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may
a man buy for a remuneration?
BEROWNE
What is a remuneration?
COSTARD
Marry, sir, halfpenny-farthing.
BEROWNE
145Why then, three-farthing-worth of silk.
COSTARD
I thank your worship. God be wi’you.
BEROWNE
Stay, slave. I must employ thee.
As thou wilt win my favour, good my knave,
Do one thing for me that I shall entreat.
COSTARD
150When would you have it done, sir?
BEROWNE
This afternoon.
COSTARD
Well, I will do it, sir. Fare you well.
BEROWNE
Thou knowest not what it is.
COSTARD
I shall know, sir, when I have done it.
BEROWNE
Why, villain, thou must know first. 155
COSTARD
I will come to your worship tomorrow morning.
BEROWNE
It must be done this afternoon. Hark, slave, it
is but this:
The Princess comes to hunt here in the park,
And in her train there is a gentle lady; 160
When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her name,
And Rosaline they call her. Ask for her
And to her white hand see thou do commend
This sealed-up counsel.([Gives Costard a letter].)
There’s thy guerdon: go.
[Gives Costard money.]
COSTARD
Guerdon, O sweet guerdon! Better than 165
remuneration, elevenpence-farthing better. Most sweet
guerdon! I will do it, sir, in print. Guerdon!
Remuneration!
(Exit.)
BEROWNE
And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love’s whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh, 170
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o’er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This Signor Junior, giant dwarf, Dan Cupid, 175
Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
Th’anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general 180
Of trotting paritors – O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field
And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop!
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife?
A woman that is like a German clock, 185
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And among three to love the worst of all, 190
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, 195
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan.
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan. 200
[ Exit.]
Beats
Arden 3 | 2012